Dad: Do you hear me? Do you understand me? You feelin’ me?
Me: Yes, yes, and no I don’t want to feel you.
Mom: (whispers), I do.

Dude…no. Also:

Mom: You’re 18. You can do whatever you want except run around the house naked when we’re home…
Dad: We don’t care about Mark, he’ll just be shocked.
Mom: And you can’t have sex in the living room.

This is so inappropriate..hahaha.