And because I needed to figure out who I am, we all of a sudden weren’t. Because I was abandoned for a while by my parents and needed space from everyone, we weren’t sisters. Because my parents packed up every item of mine in boxes in a very quick amount of time as if they expected me to never return, we couldn’t laugh anymore. Because I cried my eyes out until I knocked myself out for days, you told me I wasn’t giving the effort a best friend should. Because I planned murder, suicide and a plan to make myself better by being alone with siblings, I told you that I would refuse to understand your point of view.

We ended our friendship because I was unhealthy. We ended our friendship because I was upset that my dad thought I was mentally insane. We ended our friendship because I had to give every ounce of energy to myself and not to our relationship. 

And to be honest, if I had the opportunity to rewind time and change anything I said to you before cutting our friendship short — I wouldn’t. What I said, I meant it. You can’t have friends to help you all the time. Everyone needs space. Everyone falls below rock bottom, almost kills someone, almost kills themselves, runs away, gets kicked out, calls for counseling and gets abandoned by the only people who have given them a roof and food… well, maybe not everyone. That’s right, I won’t serve to every one of my friends’ needs when I’m mentally fucked up. So please, forgive me if I needed time to make sure I didn’t accidentally do something stupid and fuck up the relationship with my family before I asked you how your day was. 

Friendships don’t last. Some do and God knows that those are the ones that He plans for you. But I can’t apologize for something I didn’t do.  

I won’t always treat you as if you’re special. You thought it was only you that I wasn’t communicating with? I didn’t talk to anyone. It’s called solitude. It’s called finding your backbone. Friends aren’t an excuse for “having my back”. Because when shit happens where you’re alone, you’re practically forced to rely on yourself. That’s what I did.

— And I’m not sorry for it.